I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
