dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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