I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize