Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Ambien. No doubt about it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
