just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
