I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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