i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
