K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
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dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
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nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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