I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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