Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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