is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
