I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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