he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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