Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
