I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
