you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
