This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize