I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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