Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
