so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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