That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
