i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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