I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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