Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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