your thong is hanging out like whoa
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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