How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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