I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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