She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
