I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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