i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize