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i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
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