How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize