who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
