I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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