he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
