Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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