Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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