my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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