By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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