I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
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I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Rumble strips road head = magical
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I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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