3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
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It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
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I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
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But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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