Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Randomize
