"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
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I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
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she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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