There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
