I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
