Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
