I didn't shave. On purpose
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
