Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
