sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
high people should be assigned attendants
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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