you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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