We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
