brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize