I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize