is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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