Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
