does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
