shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my shit smells like andre
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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