I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Why is your signature on my underwear?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.