The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way