how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
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No more Irish car bombs ever.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
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It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order