So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.