it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
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She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
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I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"