Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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