i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
